stage fright!

first i wanna thank you amber for the comment on my last blog, funny thing is i was just giving the same advice to courtney last night who in my eyes has the same problem 10 fold, but i did admit to having a problem with relationships and longing for love/attention. thanks:). anyways... yesterday i went to my first audition since i have been in the city! I suffer with fairly severe stage fright when it comes to auditions. I hate being judged on the one thing that i hold so dear... my voice/music. its hard for me to stand there in front of people who know music and hear them critique me. and although i know that i sing very well and truth is i am not really insecure about my voice, i am actually pretty confident, i think i am more afraid of what they will say about me in general. and as much as people say that one shouldn't care about what other people think about them, i haven't quite reached that level yet. when singing at an audition i can kind of relate it to standing in front of people naked and hearing them pick your physical flaws apart. anywhooo... I auditioned for this traveling harlem gospel choir that was looking for talent to take with them to europe. i sang "his eye is on the sparrow" and "this little light of mine", for lack of better gospel songs in my repertoire lol. the first thing they told me was that i had a great look and a great personality as i turned on the charm when i walked into the room... but when it came time to tell the accompanist to what i was going to sing i could feel body begin to get that nervous awkward type of feeling, like all of a sudden i become self conscious of every move my body makes therefore making things even more awkward. i had to sing loudly over the piano so my voice would fill the giant room enough for the judges to hear me. at the end they asked me very nicely, with big smile if i was nervous... and i told them that i had not auditioned in a while. they said that it was fine, that i just needed to sell myself more. i sang "this little light of mine" and didn't do much more then either. they then told me that i had an amazing voice, great look, great personality, but when it came time to perform that i was too stiff. they needed someone that was comfortable on stage. so in general they told me what i already knew. but i guess it was nice that they liked my voice so much. the truth is that i am not as much of a performer as i am a musician. I love singing for the emotion of it. i don't care to command big audiences or sell out giant stadiums, i just want to make good music to help people get through their rough times, or give them an escape from the world, like my music does for me. but i do need to get over this whole stage fright thing... they were right i have nothing to be nervous about, i am very proud of who i am.